Everything is Connected

Nov 3

People who say that having too many specialties reveals how weak you are as a teacher, that you aren't a master of anything.

My counters to that:

Many people are not masters of anything, and also aren't particularly good at connecting the dots between many different tracks.

The more I understood myself and studied the true masters like Da Vinci, the true master saw that everything is one thing--everything is connected.

There are no true divisions, no real lines between "Art" and "Physics" and "Humanities" and "Biology"; all of our language and the concepts they describe are manmade.

Everything just is.

Nothing is actually divided.

We are nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen and carbon.

You and me, we are made of the same stuff.

Becoming a guru in one very specific subject is cool, but I really do believe that my dharma is to be the collage artist I am.

Maybe I'll never be a master of one specific subject, but I bet I can hone in and be a pretty damn good musician, a pretty damn good writer, a pretty damn good fitness professional, a pretty damn good designer, and a pretty damn good businesswoman.

Maybe that's my "thing", you know, my purpose on this planet.

Maybe it's to be quirky and non-divisional.

To major in humanities and knit-pick theories about intersectionality- the places we all connect as humans with inherent similarities, and the many ways we can deviate--man or woman, black or white, rich or poor, gay or straight, able-bodied or handicapped, religious or secular, etc.--was to see that all of us are a unique blend of each.

Like all the millions of colors that can be created from the same wheel, we all are our own unique hues with varying values, and shifting shades-- some bright, some dull, we are all accounted for in the darkest shade of black.

We all are implied in the brightest shade of white. We are all or nothing, everything and empty all at once.

Our true spirits are no different from one another's.

The light that shines in the look of laughter, to see another receive a gift that brings them great joy, to see someone sobbing, consumed in sorrow.

At the heart of our existence is love and creation, and we all must set aside our many perceived differences. You are this and I am that and therefore we do not stand in alliance with one another.

You are this and I am that. You do this and I do not. You study Biology and I study Women's Studies and I wonder what to think of the concept of gender being societally constructed while watching nature videos in science courses that show many species intricately and intrinsically performing a specific role.

And though I majored in Women's, Gender and Sexuality Studies, I still know with all my heart that I absolutely want to be a mother, and I want to stay home and raise my children myself.

I look at the guilt women face and I want to help them.

Even the ones that hurt me.

Especially the ones that hurt me.

To the girls who harassed me from second grade through sophomore year of high school, I'd hope you know who you are, but maybe you don't.

Maybe some of our greatest bullies don't have the faintest clue that you took what they said so seriously, that you let their words and actions hurt you so deeply, like some would say, a sissy.

I look back on the many times I was bullied and wonder now why I didn't immediately fight back, give them a who-the-fuck-do-you-think-you-are stare down, why I didn't tower over them and use my height to my advantage.

And I look back on the many times my bullies became the bosses I worked for, and I bit my tongue then too when I should have had more courage.

Ultimately, I am choosing to live my life as an entrepreneur because I believe a simple and sustainable and impactful life is possible, and working for myself is a dream come true, that I can't imagine not having.

The torch I want to pass on, the path I want to clear for many women ahead of me is to become successful, to run with the wolves (our men) and compete head on.

For those of us who do want to be mothers and want to raise wonderful human beings, I want to first build an overwhelmingly successful business with heart that allows me the freedom to choose to work or not, to work when I can and want to.

I want to raise wonderful children. I love the fact that women have been carrying our eggs since we ourselves were in embryos. I feel and have always felt that my children are with me. I can't wait to meet them.

I have wonderful friends who say they legitimately don't want to have children and can't bear to think of bringing children into the terrifying world we have created.

I think this is absolutely valid. But as a woman who aspires to be a spiritual warrior, I think it is essential that I raise what I think will be four children.

I need to have a lot of money to have that many children and also have power, and unfortunately, money is power in America. That is the only safety net we can actually bank on, as unstable as it is.

I aspire to make a lot of money so I can see my parents retire soon. I don't want them to work a day in their lives that they don't want to.

I want to see them immaculately happy and enjoying life.

I need to be the source of great income for not only my mom and dad and aunts and uncles, but also for my husband and my children, and their children, and their children.

I aim to be a legacy for my family, and I will not stop working until this has been achieved.

My next steps are to receive my Master's Degree in Creative Non-Fiction at The Ohio State University along with my 500 Hour Registered Yoga Teacher certification.

I will have truly high credentials and a platform from which to speak, with poise and intelligence, and most of all, purpose.

I am setting out to start writing and submitting my stories now.

Hell, I might not even need school if my work makes millions first.

I believe wholeheartedly that I will have a Best Selling novel and I will make millions of dollars and tour the country and world a time or two to celebrate.

I will allow my mom to retire early, give them both time and freedom. I want to give everyone I can on this planet freedom, and knowing that my intentions are to fight greed and corruption, I want to have more money to be able to give more money away.

I want to help people, give families thousands of dollars to transform their entire lives.

Most people who haven't been poor have absolutely no idea what it's like to worry about money.

For me growing up, this was almost always a concept I was aware of.

We didn’t have a lot and others did.

What we had ultimately was more important, and I am grateful for that now.

All of my stories have already been written, and it won’t take me long to achieve my goals now that I am better able to articulate them.

I will have an essay, pieces of information and will rewrite each piece as I would now.