Fashion: Expression vs. Vanity

I'll say it: I couldn't care less about fashion.

About spending a ton of money on material goods to impress other people.

I'll say it: I grew up as a tom boy. I was typically male-oriented, more interested in talking about science and philosophy and making crude jokes then sitting around in petty circles with catty girls talking about nail polish and other people.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

And seriously, we don't.

There are too many other things to give a shit about, that I will solidly stand in my open truth: 95% of all I own if from secondhand shops or thrift stores.

I wear nothing but beautiful name brands. I get compliments on my clothing daily. I wear quality garments.

To the people horrified by this statement: chill, bro. We may need to reassess what is worth caring about in America in 2016.

I will never forget a night in West Hollywood with a drop dead gorgeous director holding my hand on a posh patio, the stars sparkling above us.

He said that he loved my jacket. I said, "Thanks. I bought it for $10 at a thrift store."

His eyes immediately widened as he cranked his head quickly from side to side and said, "Shhh. Don't say that so loudly."

It is this that ultimately, I am stepping out of my writer's cave to speak up.

We create change by changing ourselves, and good God, America, we've got some freaking work to do!

I stand for that which is wholesome and honest and genuine. Not perfect. I am not perfect. I'll probably tell you in a novel of fiction, but I solemnly swear I have done things I'm not proud of.

I have been shallow and selfish and wrong. Low and burdened by shame, by self-disgust and loathing.

I believe I was given the life I was given so that I would have a full

range of experience of what the world was like.

From comfort and security and joy, to horror and dysfunction and fear.

What I know is what I've experienced, and the "creative" part of my non-fiction is the way I overuse alliteration and pattern the rhythm of syllables in a way of writing that celebrates sound.

A percussionist and pianist whipping together words for the present moment.

Get out of your own way.

All of the greatest artists have known they were merely conduits. I have known this too.

But damn, the only people talking about being God are religious fanatics and Kanye West.

Alan Watts quote about God.

I couldn't care less about fashion.

What about justice or peace or subtle societal shifts towards kindness and understanding.

Where can I be a champion? What purposes can I serve in this very moment of time, the only era I get to be aware of?

I am a feminist and I love men. My greatest heroes are men: my father, our Founding Fathers, Martin Luther King Jr., The Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Mahatma Gandhi. Men are my friends, and my partner is my precise opposite. A fierce, stubborn man for a fierce, stubborn woman with sweet hearts and much pain dormant from the past.

We need to work together. My best friend and a man I dearly loved committed suicide when I was twenty years old. It crushed me.

Men are in despair as well.

Another thing I truly have no time for? Television. Mindless shows. In Ayurveda, they call these "junk sensations".

I'm privately writing public words, not announcing an ounce of this, just leaving an open link live on my Instagram account.

I am very fascinated to see how this may grow.

I will be absolutely out in the open and honest, but I will not advertise this.

If you are here, you are the right person to have found these words.

And thank you, by the way.

Together we make a difference. Each and every one of us matters.

I didn't want to talk about nail polish and fashion and shallow girl-speak. I wanted to talk about religion and politics and philosophy.

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