Foibles: What to Avoid as a New Fitness Instructor

Sep 5

Musings • Peace to the People • Entrepreneurship • Mindfulness • Foibles What to Avoid as a Fitness Instructor

I am the master of making a fool of myself.

I hope to put this to good use and shorten some learning curves by sharing my mishaps and life lessons along the way of being a fitness newb.

I believe you have to be able to laugh at yourself to put yourself out to the public (or otherwise weep at your weaknesses and dumb blunders.)

I prefer to laugh, learn, and move forward.

I hope you chuckle and have a bright enough head on your shoulders to steer clear of these fitness instructor party fouls.

1. Listen to your songs ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

I cannot tell you how many otherwise AMAZING songs have thirty seconds of silence, awkward and horrible noises, strange fade-outs, jarring sounds, weird talking, etc.

Be sure you have listened to your music thoroughly beforehand so you don't find yourself in a quiet, beautiful moment of class and your music suddenly starts wigging everyone out.

• Don't think about all those things you fear, just be glad to be here song.

• Another one.

Youtube Clip of song? Just the last 30 seconds?

Seriously guys? WTF.

2. On that note, be damn sure you DON'T HAVE YOUR PLAYLIST ON REPEAT.

This is essential if you are at the end of leading a peaceful yoga class.

Imagine if you will, a classical piano song has very slowly and gradually softened your students into svasana, and there they are, still and vibrant and quite clearly relaxed.

Silence.

Stillness.

SHOCKING LOUD INSTRUMENTALS OF ANOTHER SONG.

My eyes sprang open and I saw my students jolt from the unexpected sounds.

I tried to go with the flow and end class talking over the loud song.

Afterwards, a sweet student told me she enjoyed the class, but found the music at the end "a little distracting."

Girl, I hear you.

3. GUARD YOUR SPOTIFY!

On weekdays I teach classes at several different yoga studios, swanky athletic clubs, and corporate offices.

I saw no danger in using Spotify to play my pre-crafted playlists as I always did until one unforgettable day.

Sun shined into a beautiful studio as I walked across the wood floors and gave instructions to many of my favorite students.

(A few of them in particular were the cutest and sweetest sixty-some-year-old ladies you'll ever meet.)

As we flowed into the beginning of our gentle class, I found myself on the opposite end of the large studio's stereo.

So when my soothing yoga music suddenly cut off and hard rock music started blaring through the speakers, you can perhaps imagine my surprise.

Having no idea what was happening (thinking perhaps a random song had been dragged to my playlist by mistake) I rushed to my iPad and switched the song.

I turned around and sauntered to the other side of the studio before the hard rock, double-bass-drumming music came on again.

Perplexed, I spun around and again changed the song.

An even harder rock song came on. And then: Phil Collins.

In that moment, I realized what was happening:

A mile away, my boyfriend had a day off work and was playing music as he did laundry, using the account on our computer.

Though in hindsight this is the funniest mistake to look back on, it was an anxiety-filled disaster at the time of being a new teacher.

I apologized profusely to the sweet old ladies in my class, and fortunately, most everyone had a great sense of humor.

My boyfriend now knows of Spotify: you can't touch this.

4. Make sure you have downloaded all your playlists JUST IN CASE. Because seriously, you never know.

I had been leading yoga on the sixth floor studio of a beautiful club in Columbus for months, and my playlists worked perfectly, effortlessly.

When I was asked to take over cycling classes on the third floor, assuming the internet connection would be just as seamless, I found to my dismay a few minutes before class that there was shoddy Wi-Fi in the Spinning studio.

Having to choose a crappy, not-thought-out playlist on the spot right before teaching a room of attorneys is not exactly a circumstance that instigates CONFIDENCE, or maybe that's just for me.

We all know what they say about assuming: it makes your life a hot effing mess for no reason.

Prepare yo'self!

Do not assume the technology gods will be on your side. They probably won't be.

At another beautiful and reliable athletic club downtown, the Wi-Fi once went out halfway through a powerful yoga class.

Emotional build up through a series of beautiful songs suddenly transitioned into silence is not exactly the coolest experience for your students.

Lesson? Download ALL your playlists used for teaching to be available online, just in case.

(And Lesson #4.5, charge your sh*t. Obviously. There is a first time for everything, and yes, I once had my iPad die in the middle of class. Bonus points for making excessive mistakes.)

5. Don't light yourself on fire.

Seems obvious enough, but beware! I have burnt my hair three times while leading yoga classes.

Once, in demonstrating Navasana (Boat Pose), I leaned back and felt the burning of my core and began to inhale the nastiness that is the smell of burnt hair. Yep.

At the end of a class that ironically features aromatherapy, I said Namaste and bowed to my students, only to bow my hair into an open flame. Twice.

This being said, watch the f*ck out. Fire is no joke. Burnt hair smell lingers.

6. Wear shoes.

For the months of going to yoga teacher training, becoming a yoga teacher, and working at yoga studios my mantra was: who gives AF about shoes / barefoot office life is extraordinary.

Showing up to teach to a class of mostly attorneys and very accomplished professionals of our great city. Showing up in cowboy boots. In the dark room, I don't think anyone noticed, but I sure as f*ck did.

Definitely did that two to three times before I learned my lesson. Gladiator shoes, and again, the damn cowboy boots.

7. Once again.